Friday, August 5, 2011

Will it Last with JP?

Ashley and JP seem to be doing what's right to build a strong foundation for their relationship. Throughout the process, Ashley has remained open and honest with JP, showing compassion and empathy for how he's feeling...and vice-versa. Their reactions to issues like jealousy and insecurity are proportionate to the situation. They've been openly communicating their feelings, they're not afraid to get vulnerable, and there have been no games. From my perspective, at this point in time, this is a good beginning and bodes well for the future.


Lesson:  If you're with a partner who reacts more like Brad and Emily, i.e., disproportionate hurt and anger surrounding basic relationship issues, flooded with emotions, and reacts instead of having a mature perspective...RUN and DON'T LOOK BACK! 

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Is JP Commitment-Phobic, Scared, or Smart?

On the last episode of The Bachelorette, JP said he couldn't really say that he loved Ashley, but he also said that once he says it, it's going to be such a good feeling. My take on this as a therapist is: (1) he was devastated from the break-up of his last prior relationship; (2) it's a red flag for Ashley (because I thought, as a viewer, he couldn't wait to tell her he loved her!); and  (3) so now I'm wondering about his jealousy issues with the other bachelors...did his last girlfriend cheat? Is he more controlling/insecure than we think? He seemed to be okay when Ashley told him about Bentley, possibly because she singled him out to tell him, making him feel special? But in the company of the other bachelors, his whole personality changed when she didn't come home from her date with Ben.

Is JP Commitment-Phobic, Scared, or Smart?

Lesson:  When dating, be a good detective and notice what is said, how they act, and how you react to what happens or what is said to you.  Don't sweep under the rug any icky feelings in your gut or any intuition about your date that feels off.  Acknowledge your feelings to yourself, keep observing to see if there are any questionable patterns of behavior, heed the red flag warnings, and address major concerns with your date when the time is right.